This started in July, and only now have we been able to share it with everyone. It actually almost didn’t make it! But thanks to some convincing from friends and family, we prodded forward, and I’m so glad we did.
I connected with so many amazing people this last year, and had a bootyload of unfortunate happenings occur at the same time, so I became scared of everything for a while.
In this case, I was at the precipice of a move (read eviction) with no sustainable job and no foreseeable means to an end. This meant stress, which would only grow bigger as the months went by. All that energy had to go somewhere. Originally, I’d intended to make something cool, because that’s all I needed. But as time progressed, the plot thickened and the need for a proverbial sinus became ever present. Damn, that last sentence sounds pretty intense.
But I digress.
Long story short, the song just naturally became this cathartic release. It took a while to write, which is expected in the midst of a move. But as a result, it allowed me the time to experience and process my life enough to convert it into something beautiful.
I’ve always said that I want my music to make people really think. To take a moment and be in their heads, as we often spend our time trying to escape it for our own sanity. While I wrote it in reference to my own experience, I kept it open enough to relate to a plethora of undesirables that are carried with us.
lyrics
If you were me
Why would I reply?
There's a wall that I cannot tear down
And I can't touch the ground
All the sights and the sounds
They surround me
And you
Tell me that you need me to
Need me to love you, hold you
Feel you, be you
So I say
Why are you in front of me
Can't I just move around
Why are your hands so cold and lonely
Why do I need help from you
I never asked for this
Can't I just keep my bliss
And go my own way
So don't forget to
Drop off all your baggage
You don't need it
Don't need it
You're a town away from damage now
(Just move on)
Let me show you
I'm supposed to let you fall
And now I'm scared to grow
image: http://static.urx.io/units/web/urx-unit-loader.gif
You say "I told you so"
Is there more to know?
I can't trust the darkness
Of my own skin
Don't make me trust the unknown
That I've fallen in
Said I'm fallin'
I said I'm fallin'
I said I'm fallin'
I'm fallin'
(It's all okay, it's all okay) x16
Conversation:
Male: Okay. Alright. What do you see in your future? Where do you see yourself 5 years from now?
Female: 5 years from now? Well, I hope to be in England with Oli. Um, I would like to be married, own a home, have my own bakery, be producing wedding and event cakes, and be comfortable, but happy. You know what I mean? Like, not working comfortable, but with a job you hate.
Like, I don't wanna be rolling in the dough, I just wanna have a job that I like, and then come home to the man I love, probably a dog... That's where I wanna be. Kids eventually.
M: And, like, does any of that, does anything about your future scare you?
F: Of course it does. Everything does. The whole universe scares me! But, you know... Um, It's like in "Winnie the Pooh", you know? Piglet was really afraid of something, and he goes "suppose lightning hits this tree, ya know, and it catches on fire!" And Pooh just goes "suppose it doesn't."
M: Hmm.
F: So, you know, things could go wrong, it could be difficult, there could be hardships, but... maybe not. Only way you're gonna know is if you go for it.
credits
released April 5, 2016
✖ Written by Kenyatta Naji Johnson-Adams & Kristofer Crouch
✖ Produced by: Howle, with additional production by Naji
✖ Mixed by: Howle and Naji
✖ Mastered: by Naji
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